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Jen A. Miller Consulting

Tag: single

  • Another Year Single

    Another Year Single

    Catherine shares 5 ways she’s grown in being single

    PHOTO: Tara Freese.
    PHOTO: Tara Freese.

    A year ago, I wrote about the benefits of investing in yourself as a single girl. A year later, I’m still single! We talk about being superbly single, but we’ve stressed the status to include all independent women. Today I want to delve deeper in actually being single, unattached, not in a relationship. As I’ve mentioned before, I have never had a serious boyfriend. So if you’re looking for an expert at being single, I am that.

    When I share my status out loud, or I make a joke like “How is this girl still single?” or “Wouldn’t it be funny if I’m the next cousin to get married?” even if I’m the only cousin who isn’t dating anyone, it may seem like self-deprecation to save face before someone reminds me that I’ll “meet the right person when it’s time”… but truly I’m proud of my eternal singlehood. Of course, like anyone else, I have my moments of freaking out about turning 40 and not being married. But for the most part, I’m happy with the choices I’ve made for myself.

    I’ve reflected on and written about many revelations I encountered the past year in regard to living in the moment and finding the message in every obstacle. Starting The Single Diaries has pushed me to live superbly single, consciously and unconsciously. It’s been a year of growth: I recognized unhappiness in my life and came face to face with it. I spent time trying to remedy discontentment with more side projects, more social outings, more play when what I really needed was complete quiet.

    Among those remedies to try to increase the fun and counter the stress was online dating in the form of fun and easy apps. What I learned from my short stint of serial dating was what we all know but don’t acknowledge: For those of us who desire monogamy and marriage, dating is a way to audition or interview to find the “right” partner. It’s also a way for us to understand what we want and merely who we are as individuals.

    Sure, there are lessons I have yet to learn from being in a committed relationship, but I think there are just as many in learning how to be alone. Here are the ones that have been most important to my personal growth.

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  • Should I Date Him?

    Should I Date Him?

    Got a date lined up for the weekend and asking yourself, ‘should I date him’? Consider our pros and cons of potential mates.

    should I date him

     

    My first boyfriend arrived on the scene when I was just four years old. His name was Timmy, and he was the irresistible redheaded son of my grandmother’s neighbor. Those who know me can attest that I’m currently dating a strawberry-blonde (though he refutes the red cast) so I like to think that even at a young age, I knew there was something pursuit-worthy about a man with a crimson mane.

    The relationship ultimately fizzled when Timmy moved two blocks away. It was a decade until my second shot at a boyfriend came along. Since then I’ve found my way in and out of nearly two dozen relationships (length and significance spanning a wide spectrum), learned my way through a laundry list of different types of datable men, and finally found the man for me.

    What I’ve discovered is that meeting the guy of your dreams could happen any number of ways. There’s no predicting if he’ll be a neighbor or a stranger and no way of determining with absolute certainty which holds better odds for long-lasting love. With that said, here are a few different types of dates I’ve personally encountered and what I’ve learned from each. Next time you find yourself asking “should I date him,” take these pros and cons into consideration!

     

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  • Definition of the Single Girl

    Redefining “single” for a new generation of leading ladies. 

    definition of a single girl

    PHOTO: CATHERINE ABALOS.

    Every group of girlfriends has the quintessential single friend. That’s me. I thought I’d have a boyfriend by the end of high school but by the middle of college I was still single-little-me. At that point, I went full throttle into single mode. I threw myself into school and extracurricular activities, studied abroad, and fostered new friendships.

    This lifestyle served particularly well after I graduated and found that I was seemingly the last woman standing in L.A. amongst my college friends. Essentially, I had to start over in a city I’d lived in for four years; a place I was comfortable in was suddenly strange and unfamiliar.

    While any strange place has the potential to ice a gal into loneliness, if you can embrace the newness and look inward you can turn any strange place into a home. With years of experience under my belt, I faced the obstacle of reclaiming L.A. head-on.

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