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Jen A. Miller Consulting

Tag: Relationships

  • Downward Dog Diss

    Downward Dog Diss

    Catherine’s recent yoga nightmare, 5 lessons she took away + tips on starting yoga

    downward-dog

     PHOTO: Move. Nourish. Believe

    I had never regretted my decision to take a yoga class… until last Wednesday.

    I headed to this studio, new to me, with anticipation. It was on my list of studios to try ever since I moved back—probably because it was one of the few with free and easy parking; unlike L.A., here nowhere you go has valet. The studio was warm (I’m talking temperature), and I’m much more comfortable in airy (read, air conditioned) studios but I let go and embraced the fact that I would likely leave the class feeling relaxed and refreshed.

    With my limited experience, I believe yoga is a practice of constantly letting go of the ego, calming your mind, focusing your breath, listening to your body. On this evening, the night before the full moon, what our instructor led us through was the complete opposite of that. The class started in a seated position focusing in on the breath. I felt myself center. And this was the last time I would feel calm for the rest of the evening.

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  • Single Girl Reveals | Moving In Together

    Single Girl Reveals | Moving In Together

    Jen Smith shares her experience moving in with her boyfriend and what to consider before taking the leap

    moving in together
    PHOTO: Stephanie Rausser.

    Moving in with my boyfriend was a HUGE decision but one that came surprisingly easy for the two of us. Alex and I have been dating over 7 years, with two small breaks in there. We’ve talked about living together for several years, but it never felt right so we always chose to wait.

    I pride myself on my independence. Since I went through my quarter-life crisis a few years ago, I worked extremely hard to redefine myself by joining several organizations, making quality friends, and starting a new career path. I thought by living together I would lose my individuality, miss out on seeing my friends, and give up what I love doing most. I was surprisingly wrong.

    Alex asked me to “live together” rather than “with him.” Many may not see a difference, but to me, it was an important distinction. To be comfortable moving in together, the act had to be done together and the decision about where to live had to be ours. We worked together to choose which furniture and decorations we were keeping so that our space was a blend of our personalities—for example, he got to keep his sports bobble head collection and me? I got to keep my owl collection.

    I value a well-rounded life, and I was worried that by living with Alex, my life would be too focused on “home”… that I wouldn’t have enough time for friends or activities I love. Instead, we find a balance: on nights he’s out with the boys, I can choose to have a girls’ night, attend my favorite yoga class, or finish reading the latest book on my list.

    Alex and I are big on communication and find that many conflicts can be avoided with a conversation, so we chose to talk about our concerns before living together. Since I’m a list-maker, I pulled together a list of things to discuss before taking the leap that might also be helpful for you to consider when you are ready to take this step in your relationship.

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  • In It For the Long Haul | A Reflection on a Long-Term Relationship

    In It For the Long Haul | A Reflection on a Long-Term Relationship

    6 lessons in a 6-year long-term relationship from Angelo Ignacio, our first male contributor

    long-term relationship
    PHOTO: Angelo Ignacio.

    This year I celebrate six wonderful years with my girlfriend. Leezel and I are now often the longest running couple among our friends, but we continue to learn new things about each other and what it takes to keep building this love fortress that we have invested in over time.

    In reflecting about our relationship thus far, I immediately thought of sharing some of the past years’ biggest learnings. In the advent of sites like BuzzFeed and Thought Catalog, I read some pretty corny articles that have attempted to portray the beauty of relationships. While some of it is true, I find most of them so one-sided; they never talk about the hardships that are absolutely imminent. If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that love takes work, not dreams. This woman has been worth every bit of it.

    In the spirit of a young love still eager to learn, here are six important truths I’ve discovered about playing for the long run. They are very real to me and may take a second or even third read to wrap your head around. I’ve come to understand that these ideals are what have elevated Zel and me in the game of hearts. I hope you’ll take something from what has taken me 6 years to find and accept. (more…)

  • The Power in Power Couples

    The Single Diaries tackles the question of what makes “power couples” unique

    power couples
    PHOTOS: NY Daily News, Fanpop, Salon, NPR.

    As you know, a lady can be “superbly single” whether she’s single or in a relationship. Let’s talk about the ultimate independent women with plus ones: one half of the power couples. Movements by themselves but forces when they’re together, power couples are made up of two stand-alone powerhouses. We love them. We want to be them. So what’s their secret? Here’s our take on the elusive power couple.

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  • Definition of the Single Girl

    Redefining “single” for a new generation of leading ladies. 

    definition of a single girl

    PHOTO: CATHERINE ABALOS.

    Every group of girlfriends has the quintessential single friend. That’s me. I thought I’d have a boyfriend by the end of high school but by the middle of college I was still single-little-me. At that point, I went full throttle into single mode. I threw myself into school and extracurricular activities, studied abroad, and fostered new friendships.

    This lifestyle served particularly well after I graduated and found that I was seemingly the last woman standing in L.A. amongst my college friends. Essentially, I had to start over in a city I’d lived in for four years; a place I was comfortable in was suddenly strange and unfamiliar.

    While any strange place has the potential to ice a gal into loneliness, if you can embrace the newness and look inward you can turn any strange place into a home. With years of experience under my belt, I faced the obstacle of reclaiming L.A. head-on.

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