Many of us consider ourselves good listeners, but what exactly does that mean?
In a world of constant “communication,” we are losing our ability to slow down and pay attention. We think conversation is a two-way street merely because anyone with a social media account can have a voice. We are encouraged to form our own opinions, and we often do that in a matter of seconds; is this interfering with the essential skill of listening?
After some practice with meditation and reading a great book on spirituality, I reflected on what it means to listen. I started to notice the lack of it within group conversations: speakers aren’t being heard… people are simply waiting their turn to talk. It’s one thing to be a great conversationalist—someone who can carry on an interesting verbal exchange and keep the other person engaged—and it may be another thing to be a great listener.
When a friend is going through a tough time (a loss in the family, a rough period at work, a break-up), being heard is especially important. We are quick to jump in with our opinion, our advice, our words of wisdom. However, what she may really need from us is simply an ear and a shoulder. If her situation immediately reminds you of your own, you may need to ask yourself: am I listening, or am I just waiting to talk?
Before you allow the wheels to start turning in your head, consider the following.