Jen A. Miller Consulting

Tag: Lara Torii

Retreats: The Journey, Not the Destination

Lara Torii shares a lesson in forgiveness + tips for making the most of your time away

To say I’m familiar with retreats is an understatement. I’m a bit of a self-care junkie. If I could go on a retreat every month I probably would. I was fortunate enough to go on two in the last three months. After three years of volunteering—two of which were international—my program sent me on a ten-day re-entry retreat.

Before I started each year of volunteering, I attended an orientation retreat to prepare myself for community, social justice, simplicity, and spirituality. This was my first time attending a re-entry retreat, specifically for people who have gone abroad and have to deal with reverse culture shock. The activities were geared towards helping us heal the hurts of the past, celebrate the joys, and move forward with purpose.

If I have learned anything during my time as a volunteer, it is that life is best lived open-heartedly. I always try to let go of any preconceived notions I have of any situation and any person I meet. So I made my way to San Antonio ready to receive whatever the ten days had in store.

What Is a Retreat?

For me, retreats have always been an opportunity to step back, evaluate life, and take a breather. I’ve been on retreats where we are given tons of space to talk to each other. I’ve also been on silent retreats where we are asked to unplug from all forms of chatter. Regardless, retreats offer activities to help you balance the emotional, physical, mental, and social aspects of yourself.

One of my favorite retreat activities is hiking by myself or with a group. I always feel reset by getting my blood flowing, breathing fresh air, and letting go of those routine thought processes. That is one of the most beneficial things about retreats: they are active breaks from the daily routine, a break—unlike a vacation—that allows you to make space for new energy, new creativity, new insight. If it’s not possible to commit to a full guided retreat (typically two to seven nights), we may try to find ways to step back from our daily lives in smaller ways. However, in this time of constant social media and technological connection, we can all benefit from time away. Here is what I learned from stepping away from the everyday and a list of things to keep in mind once you commit to a retreat.

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May 30, 2014
Now I See Through Your Eyes | Happy Mother’s Day

A tribute to our first teachers, our mothers

We look up to women who have changed the world in different ways, but many girls will say that her mom changed her world in the most lasting way. A gift on Mother’s Day is such a small token compared to everything the mothers in our lives have done for us. In honor of these fearless women, we’re recounting the important lessons we’ve learned growing up.

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May 9, 2014
Lessons in Online Dating From an OkCupid User

Lara Torii downloads us on what it’s really like to use dating site OkCupid and shares her online dating tips

PHOTO: Pinterest.

During a post-dinner group discussion on the landscape of modern dating, our college mentor and her husband admitted their fascination with 20-somethings and online dating. “When they were our age,” they met potential matches through friends, and the concept of online dating was completely foreign (despite the start of social media sites like MySpace and Asian Avenue). As the conversation continued, everyone weighed in on their personal experiences with dating sites and apps. Lara brought a unique perspective to the group as she’s a girl looking for girls on OkCupid. Here she gives The Single Diaries the ins and outs of her experience with the site, and offers her top tips for using OkCupid and for online dating.

I joined OkCupid last year while I was traveling in Asia. After being abroad for two years and a long-distance break-up, it was interesting to hear that online dating had somehow become trendy. Several friends told me they had good experiences with OkCupid, so I set up my profile. I didn’t intend to date anyone halfway around the world, but I was looking forward to slowly getting myself out in the dating world.

OkCupid (or OKC) is set up similarly to Facebook, which some may find to be a turn-off, but I didn’t let that faze me. I dutifully set up my “about” page, my photos, my details. Then there are the Questions. These Questions delve deeper into your habits, psyche and preferences. The Questions range in topic. How important are politics to you? Do you like to cuddle? What are you looking for in your next relationship? How often do you brush your teeth? After you answer each question, you can indicate what answers you will accept from potential matches and how important it is to you that they answer in that way. These questions and my answers are visible to other users under a tab on my profile.

When browisng other people’s profiles, they show you a compatibility percentage based on your answers. For example, I am 86% compatible with this girl, but only 45% compatible with this one. This function is helpful to narrow down the sheer volume of OKC users. It also means that OKC sends me personalized matches each week—another way to interact with the site without necessarily having to check in everyday.

After being on the site for a few months, here’s what I’ve learned from my experience on OKCupid… and what I recommend to anyone looking to start online dating.

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March 24, 2014
Single Girl Called to Action | Typhoon Yolanda

“It’s human nature to protect our minds and spirits by fleeing behind the cover of ‘out of sight, out of mind.’ But if you’re reading this and feel your heart reaching out to the people affected by Haiyan/Yolanda, take another couple of minutes to find out if you can help more. It doesn’t take much.”

November 10, 2013. (NOEL CELIS/AFP/Getty Images)

Last weekend, one of the worst storms ever devastated the Philippines—the home country of my parents, grandparents, ancestors. We were fortunate that none of our relatives were directly affected, but the Filipino community is small and tight-knit so I know loved ones of friends were affected. Lara Torii shares her experience about the storm passing while she was visiting her family in Manila. Abba Chan talks about Tacloban (her birthplace and the town hardest hit by the super typhoon) and the efforts that her family is making in the wake of the devastation. Read on for their stories and to learn about opportunities to help directly.
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November 15, 2013
I’ll Never Be the Same

How her volunteer experience has taught Lara Torii to live intentionally and fall in love

When I started my first year of volunteer service three years ago in NYC, I was excited that I could continue to wear my fabulous pair of alligator green vintage boots. One of my program’s tenets is simplicity, but no one considered me frivolous for continuing to wear my best clothes to work. After all, my placement, which served runaway and homeless youth, was in Chelsea.

Now, what seems like a lifetime later, I’m sitting in my single bed in a volunteer house on the edge of rural northeast Thailand. All I can hear outside are insects singing. Nowadays, my wardrobe mainly consists of t-shirts and loose elephant pants. I have about nine outfits that I’ve rotated for two years. But just as I loved putting together outfits for my days in Manhattan, I love the simplicity of my wardrobe here.

But I’m not here to talk about how my personal look has changed the last three years (though I do love talking about my hair, so perhaps that will be a topic for another entry). This outer transformation is simply an insight into the bigger transformation within. It all happened because I decided, from day one, to live each moment deeply.
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September 9, 2013