Follow Our Action Plan for Making New Girl Friends

Let’s face it, making new girl friends after college can be tough. In college we have classes, sororities, dorm rooms, and clubs that throw us together with thousands of other young women. It’s nearly impossible to not find at least a handful that you connect with. Enter the post-grad world and things aren’t so easy. Sure you may meet a few girls through work but beyond that, chance interactions don’t come around quite so often. Furthermore, when you do find a girl that you think you could be friends with it can feel awkward to kick off the relationship. How do you strike up a conversation, where do you take it from there, what does it take to take it to the next level? It’s starting to sound a lot like real dating isn’t it?

If we take a second look, the process of making new girl friends is not that different from that of finding a potential soul mate. You have to find them, break into their world, get to know each other, and ultimately lock in a mutual love and respect for one another. You are in fact, girl friend dating. To help you navigate the process we’ve put together a handy guide to help you go from meeting acquaintances to securing new BFFs. Read on for our guide to girl friend dating and then let us know what additional advice you have for other Single Girls looking to expand their inner circle!

Where to Find Them

• Relocating to a new city? Opt in for roommates. It may be tempting to get a place of your own but finding great roommates will almost always insure you your first friends.  Look to these awesome apps and websites to kickstart your roommates search: Roommates,  Roomster,  LivewithUs
• Find a group around one of your hobbies or interest. Catherine and I met at a Theta alumni meeting.  We were both looking to meet new girl friends and needless to say it worked! Start by checking out these sites: your college alumni chapter, your sorority alumni chapter, Meetup.com, Junior League, and Eventbrite.
• Go where the girls are. What do you do when you’re looking for a date? You get out head to the places they’re most likely to be found (e.g. the bar and parties). It’s no different with girls. If you want to find girlfriends go where the girls go. Look for these types of events to add to your calendar: Barre Method class, Lululemon run club, exclusive shopping night.

 

How to Start the Conversation

• When you want to strike up a conversation with a stranger one of the easiest things you can do is offer them a compliment. Tell her how much you love her hot pink lipstick for instance or compliment her on the fab hair day she’s having. As long as it’s genuine, you’re comments will be graciously welcomed.
• Another approach you can take is to strike up a conversation around a female-friendly topic. Is there a girl you see in your gym class that you think you’d hit it off with? Next time you see her mention the great sale you saw at your favorite store or that you could really go for an iced coffee because you stayed up late watching the finale of The Bachelor.
• Alternatively, tap into your personal network to help you make introductions. Often the best way to make a new friend is through friends you already have. Whether you’ve moved away from home or are simply going to an event solo, ask friends if they know anyone at your final destination. If they do, have them introduce you over Facebook.

 

Going From Acquaintances to BFFs

• You’ve gotten up the courage to start talking to the girl in your yoga class. Now what? Take your relationship to the next level by asking her to do something related to your normal rendezvous. For instance, invite her to grab a post-workout smoothie with you or ask if she wants to meet before class next week to grab a coffee. Keeping your plans linked to your usual encounter keeps it casual and is less intimidating than asking someone to meet you for a full-on girl date. 
• Once you’ve got the hang of this method, give it a try with several of the activities that you do. In a book club? Ask one of the girls if she wants to browse Barnes and Noble with you afterward. Part of an adult kickball league? See if any of the girls want to grab a drink after the next game. Likewise, if request come your way say yes! Remember that what goes around comes around.
• The next step is to plan a date independent of how you first met. If you’re nervous about throwing out an idea leverage an event or a special occasion as your excuse. Browse your city’s local guide for new restaurant openings, festivals, outdoor movies, and other unique happenings. Another idea is to check Groupon for deals on meals and outings that you think the other girl would be interested in.
• Mix up group dates with one on one dates. Group dates are great for bringing together people who all loosely know one another and can often help break the ice. One on one dates however are what you need to really get to know someone and increase the depth of your friendship. 
• Lastly, make sure to set a date for your date. Seems obvious enough but how many times have you used the line “We should get a drink sometime!” only for it to never happen. If you are serious about making plans then suggest a time and a place for you and your potential new friend to get together. 

 

Final Words of Wisdom

• Honesty is always your best policy and this holds true in the world of girl friend dating. Don’t be embarrassed to be upfront about your wish to make new friends. If you let your guard down and admit to others what your up to there’s a good chance you’ll find out the other person is in the same boat! Many of us are in similar circumstances (new to a city, friends that have moved away, recently out of a relationship) and are looking to expand our circle of gal pals. Additionally, you’ll find that people will start to help you on your quest and will begin making introductions on your behalf. The only thing honesty can bring you is more friends so let the world know you’re on the hunt!
• Give everyone a chance. If someone extends an invite your way take her up on it. Don’t pre-judge someone before getting to know her. You might discover that you have a lot more in common than you think. If not, who knows, maybe she’ll be the connection that introduces you to a girl with whom you will click.
• Having a big group of girl friends is great but don’t sacrifice quality for quantity. If you start using these tips you could end up meeting a lot of new people. Don’t feel like you need to turn every new acquaintance into a BFF. Some people you just won’t hit it off with and that’s OK. Remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea!

 

Best of luck!

Superbly Single,

Jen

 

How have you managed to meet new girl friends after college? Share your tips with us below are tweet @SingleDiariesXO