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Jen A. Miller Consulting

Category: The Single Diaries

  • Single Girl Reads | Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In

    Join The Single Diaries’ first book discussion on November 29th.
    PHOTO: http://www.zenparenting.us/
    PHOTO: http://www.zenparenting.us/

     

    It was 1992. I was five years old, and we were camping with my dad’s side of the family. All the cousins my age were boys, and I remember overhearing the parents saying “Look at her, she’s the leader” as I marched the five of us in a line through the campsite. At school, I was no different; I took charge of the games for my friends at recess. It wasn’t until fourth grade that I realized “bossy” was not a compliment from my peers. From that moment on, I made a concerted effort to change my ways… to be nicer to everyone and to take a backseat socially. (For the record, that didn’t stop me from aiming high academically nor in student council, but I knew that I would never be the most popular kid.)

    “When a girl tries to lead, she is often labeled bossy. Boys are seldom called bossy because a boy taking the role of a boss does not surprise or offend.”

    In Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, Sheryl Sandberg dives into issues women face in the workplace as well as issues that younger generations encounter due to long-standing gender roles. Join The Single Diaries‘ first book conversation as I discuss Lean In with my good friend, Huffington Post editor Jacqueline Howard. Pick up a copy and read by November 15th to send in questions: in the comments section of this post, via Twitter tagging @SingleDiariesXO and #SingleGirlLeansIn, or via email leadingladies@toastmeetsjam.com. Sandberg writes “I am also writing this for any man who wants to understand what a woman—a colleague, wife, mother, or daughter—is up against so that he can do his part to build an equal world.” We invite our guy friends to read and join the conversation.

    We will post our discussion on November 29th, so don’t forget to come back to continue the conversation. We can’t wait to hear what you think!

     

    xo Catherine

  • The 5 Roles Principle

    The 5 Roles Principle

    One Simple Piece of Advice to Help You Find Life Balance

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    It’s no secret that the post-college graduation years can be a downright tough era to handle. When you think about it, for this moment in time, every aspect of our lives seems to be a paradox.
    • We are young but we are expected to be mature adults.
    • We are starting our careers yet we’re expected prove ourselves good enough to climb to the top.
    • We are figuring out who we are and want to be yet we are expected to be in serious relationships.
    The list of puzzles we are posed with ranges across every aspect of our young adult lives from personal questions, to professional challenges, to relationship hurdles. Speaking from firsthand experience, I know that trying to keep a sense of balance can nearly feel impossible at times.
    Juggling the many roles we are expected to play while maintaining our priorities, not to mention our sanity, is no easy feat. We want to prove to ourselves, and to the world, that we can take on more responsibility and be successful. Yet, in doing so, we often end up with too much on our plates and things begin to spin out of control.
    Personally, this is something that I’ve been struggling to master since I graduated two and a half years ago. It seems like I’m always trying to find the right balance between pushing myself forward and taking on too much. There is a constant struggle to keep the important things thriving while not letting the unimportant things take over.
    Admittedly, I can’t come to you with the answers for how to make sense of it all. Instead what I am offering up is some great advice that I have found very valuable—the 5 Roles Principle.
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  • How to Be a Thoughtful Single Girl Pt 2

    Bettering the Lives of the People You Encounter Each Day

    A few weeks ago we shared our simple tips for staying connected to your friends and family if you’ve made a move away from home.  While it’s important to keep these ties strong, we recognize that being a truly thoughtful single girl goes beyond remembering to send a birthday card or gifting souvenirs back home every few month.  True thoughtfulness is finding ways big and small in each day to let others know you care about them.

    We’ve been noticing a slew of articles getting posted recently directing advice to twenty-somethings. Most of this advice stems from the idea that those of us who fall into this category are too self-absorbed to realize what is going on in the world around us. Moreover, we often get criticized for being too self-promoting while lacking a reasonable awareness of what our true value and role is in society. If we’re honest with ourselves, many of these criticisms aren’t too far from the truth.

    So what does it take to separate ourselves from the rest of the twenty-somethings who “just don’t get it?”

    When we look at the types of women who we admire and aim to replicate, they are those who have found ways to improve the lives of others around them in their day to day life. They are the women who, despite how busy or hectic their lives get, are able to keep from being the center of their own universe.  This is what distinguishes them from those twenty-somethings under harsh criticism.

    In an attempt to help each other become more like these women we admire, we’ve drummed up round two of the discussion with 9 more tips on how to be a thoughtful single girl. This time, however, we’re focused on the ideas that help you better the lives of the people you encounter each day.

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  • Single Girl Reveals | Why I Love Living Alone

    One reader tackles Jen’s question: Should I live alone?
    living alone
    PHOTO: Stephanie Rausser

    I don’t need to tell readers of The Single Diaries about the merits of living ensemble. The promise of spontaneous dance parties, someone to turn off the curling/flat/clothes iron when you forget, a shoulder to cry on after a bad day, a partner-in-crime when you want to take down a bottle of Shiraz and watch bad (ok, really bad) reality TV. All that and more make the decision of living with friends, family or fellas an alluring and easy choice.

    And yet, even with all those in the plus column, I’m sure a few of you have thought, even briefly, about what it would be like to live alone. After a couple experiences, how long before you start yearning to live without an all-night Real Housewives marathon when you have to get up early in the morning? Crusty spaghetti sauce all over the stove after a roommate’s attempt to “make it like Giada does”? Waking up to a strange person in your kitchen, drinking out of your favorite coffee mug? A ghost finishing the last of the hummus… again?

    For me, the realization that I was ready to graduate from living with my roommate (and best friend!) came pretty quickly. A large part of it was that she was working from home, so when I got back to our apartment, she was (understandably) craving real interaction and ready to play. After spending all day in a corporate office, I was not. Couple that with my compulsive cleaning ethos and her lackadaisical it’s-just-going-to-get-dirty-again-so-why-bother approach, and soon my passive aggressive attempts to not be bothered by the living situation were becoming detrimental to our friendship. So, as much fun as it was for us to live together, I was ready for my own space—to be the queen of my own castle. And two years later, it’s one of my favorite things about this time in my life.
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  • Spotlight on Jessica Sabogal’s “Women Are Perfect”

    Spotlight on Jessica Sabogal’s “Women Are Perfect”

    In August, Jessica Sabogal journeyed to Bogotá, Colombia with her best friend to carry out a larger-than-life mission: to paint a mural honoring the struggle of women in her parents’ native country. In her own words, she shares her experience with The Single Diaries, then Catherine gets the exclusive on her process, her inspiration and what’s next for this artist.

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    “Women Are Perfect” begins in Bogotá, Colombia

    I am in Bogotá, Colombia, my father’s birthplace, with the intention of doing something I’ve never done before: creating a 50’ x 9′ mural honoring the group most affected by Colombia’s 49-year long civil war, las mujeres.

    When I learned that 18% of Colombian women—or 489,687 mujeres—were victims of sexual violence between 2001 and 2009, I immediately thought, “That’s half the population of San Francisco.” It was then that I envisioned a piece that would reflect my reality: a world in which women embrace their perfection, a world in which these crimes against humanity cannot exist.

    Over the course of ten days, I teamed up with local artists, figuring out how to collect the supplies I need to transform this vision into something real and somehow explain to my abuela why I’m spray-painting on the streets of this 613 x 613 mile city.
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