Jen A. Miller Consulting

Category: Reader Reveals

Reader’s Dating Stories

12 Months a Single Girl | Our Manifesto Revealed

Happy 1st Anniversary to The Single Diaries!

A year ago, Jen and I launched The Single Diaries. We first tested the idea on our closest circle of friends several months before that. When we saw that our message resonated with them we knew we had the support to keep reaching.

As we commit to year 2, we unveil our manifesto… the words we live by, the summary of our work, the mission we strive to carry out post by post. Twelve months flew by, so we simply want to say Thank You. Thank you for reading, for supporting our stories, and for inspiring us to leap. Every. Single. Day.

We have big plans for our second year and can’t wait to share them with you as they unfold. Until then, read on for a look back at our favorite moments from the first year of living our mission, and share your favorites with us too.

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August 25, 2014
Retreats: The Journey, Not the Destination

Lara Torii shares a lesson in forgiveness + tips for making the most of your time away

To say I’m familiar with retreats is an understatement. I’m a bit of a self-care junkie. If I could go on a retreat every month I probably would. I was fortunate enough to go on two in the last three months. After three years of volunteering—two of which were international—my program sent me on a ten-day re-entry retreat.

Before I started each year of volunteering, I attended an orientation retreat to prepare myself for community, social justice, simplicity, and spirituality. This was my first time attending a re-entry retreat, specifically for people who have gone abroad and have to deal with reverse culture shock. The activities were geared towards helping us heal the hurts of the past, celebrate the joys, and move forward with purpose.

If I have learned anything during my time as a volunteer, it is that life is best lived open-heartedly. I always try to let go of any preconceived notions I have of any situation and any person I meet. So I made my way to San Antonio ready to receive whatever the ten days had in store.

What Is a Retreat?

For me, retreats have always been an opportunity to step back, evaluate life, and take a breather. I’ve been on retreats where we are given tons of space to talk to each other. I’ve also been on silent retreats where we are asked to unplug from all forms of chatter. Regardless, retreats offer activities to help you balance the emotional, physical, mental, and social aspects of yourself.

One of my favorite retreat activities is hiking by myself or with a group. I always feel reset by getting my blood flowing, breathing fresh air, and letting go of those routine thought processes. That is one of the most beneficial things about retreats: they are active breaks from the daily routine, a break—unlike a vacation—that allows you to make space for new energy, new creativity, new insight. If it’s not possible to commit to a full guided retreat (typically two to seven nights), we may try to find ways to step back from our daily lives in smaller ways. However, in this time of constant social media and technological connection, we can all benefit from time away. Here is what I learned from stepping away from the everyday and a list of things to keep in mind once you commit to a retreat.

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May 30, 2014
National Burger Month | California Style

Celebrating National Burger Month with our favorite burgers in California

It’s only fitting that I was born in Burger Month (I’m a self-professed über carnivore). I checked in with some of my food-loving friends for their recommendations of the best burgers in California (including a few for you non meat-eaters) to bring you a list of must-try’s to celebrate this glorious “holiday”… and, of course, no list would be complete without the quintessential California burger joint: In-n-Out, so scroll down to see how our burger lovers order theirs.

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May 23, 2014
I Was Unfriended on Facebook

Maggie Winterfeldt Clark of The Editorialite learned an unexpected lesson when she was unfriended on Facebook

I’ve been unfriended on Facebook. The sting is sharper than I expected. Here’s how I knew it happened…

I was browsing through my timeline the other day, as I often do to procrastinate first thing in the morning, when I came upon a friend’s picture from the weekend. In it, a group of smiling faces gathered around an outdoor grill. While I had only met most of the people in the group once or twice, two of them I knew and was Facebook friends with—or so I thought.

“I haven’t seen anything about her in at least a year. I wonder how she’s doing,” I said to myself as I looked at one of the two. I clicked on her name and was taken to a limited profile; mutual friends, profile picture only, “hm, that’s strange. She must’ve instated strict privacy settings,” I thought, still not getting it. “I wonder if she became a school teacher or a CIA agent.”

Then, I saw it; a looming +1 next to a hovering rectangle asking me if I wanted to “Add friend.” My heart skipped a beat as the realization hit: I’ve been unfriended.

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May 19, 2014
On Burning Out

Catherine shares the story of her wake-up call and tips on avoiding burn-out

PHOTO: JJ Jumoc-Casas.

A friend and I were talking about people’s different thresholds of “busy.” She has a full-time office job and teaches fitness classes 3 to 4 days a week. A colleague of mine has a full-time job, teaches an extracurricular class once a week, oh, and has a husband and four kids to care for. I attest my own desire to fill my days to my early training in elementary school. My mom had my sisters and me in after-school activities galore—from ballet to swimming, speed reading (an excuse for me to spend more time at the library) to student council. Once I left school for the real world, I felt the need to continue being “involved”… I became my high school alumni association’s class representative, joined my sorority’s alumni chapter and took on a leadership role, then found other ways to use my marketing knowledge by joining my sister’s company’s team part time and decided to get back into writing by launching The Single Diaries with Jen.

The only sure thing is that we have 24 hours in a day and, when you have an inflexible office job, you have to wake up at a certain time every morning. For someone like me who can stay up all night, it is a challenge to stay committed to a bedtime when I can find other things I want to do but didn’t have time to earlier in the day (write or edit a post, read a book, watch Melrose Place). There were evenings when after work I thought I could do it all: run off to an early barre class, stop by a book club meeting, then finish editing a post scheduled to go up the next day. Other days I had to make sacrifices. Instead of organizing a boozy brunch (one of my favorite pastimes), I committed to a Saturday work session at a local cafe.

Jen recently wrote about taking up a side hustle, which is great in the years after college when making money needs to be your priority to pay for student loans and to get your feet off the ground. In those years, most of us need to work a traditional full-time job to learn the value of a paycheck and to garner experience to build our resume. A side hustle is a way for you to find your passion and develop the skills you need to make your dreams a reality. But what happens when your full-time job and your side hustle leave you with little to no free time?

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April 25, 2014