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Category: Reader Reveals

Reader’s Dating Stories

  • 12 Months Later: My Single Girl Vision Board in Retrospect

    12 Months Later: My Single Girl Vision Board in Retrospect

    Contest winner Colleen Viana reflects on 2014 through her vision board

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    PHOTO: Pinterest.

     

    Thinking back to my everyday life in January 2014 is difficult. For one, I can barely remember what I had for breakfast two days ago, so rewinding 12 months is like trying to quote every single line from “Mean Girls” without missing a beat (unless you’re this guy). You know every scene, but piecing together all those small details is more of a challenge than figuring out how the limit does not exist (I was never asked to be in the Mathletes).

    Looking at each of the things I pinned on My Single Girl Vision Board earlier this year gives me a sense of those bigger picture moments I had as a 25-year old. I made 45 goals for myself and while most of them were clearly unattainable (like this one), the ones that truly mattered actually came to fruition.

    Being the kind of person who says “yes” to almost everything, I tend to fall short when it comes to executing something. (Which can actually be a good goal for myself in 2015…) So while not many of my Pinterest dreams came to life, seeing them on my board helped me put my year into perspective. Here are four of my original goals and what accomplishing them (or not) taught me.

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  • Your Single Girl Goals | Fall Edition

    Your Single Girl Goals | Fall Edition

    5 Single Girl goals to bring to life this fall

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    PHOTO: Pinterest.

    It’s hard to believe that another month is coming to an end. Halloween is tomorrow, which means the holiday season is looming, which means we will soon cross the 2014 finish line. You may not want to hear that, but I believe that acknowledging the inevitable is the first step in making the last months count. We put a lot of emphasis on setting goals this year, so today’s post is your reminder to review your year thus far, revisit your vision board, and make sure you leave your mark on 2014. Already accomplished everything on your list? Over your goals and need some new ones? Read on for fall goal inspiration from your 2014 boards.

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  • Living with Bitchy Resting Face

    Living with Bitchy Resting Face

    Catherine shares 3 techniques for alleviating Bitchy Resting Face

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    PHOTO: Mizkit.

    My bitchy resting face started early—as early as the age of 3. I like to think that it was part of the reason no one liked me in elementary school, that I was merely misunderstood. In truth, I was the girl everyone called “bossy,” so if I’m being honest with myself that likely contributed as well. Another day, another post.

    Today I want to to focus solely on the issue of Bitchy Resting Face. It’s real, and I’ve worked most of my life trying to manage public perception of myself because of it. Plus, let’s be real: frowning, however unintentional, causes wrinkles. Here are three techniques I practiced over the last decade that may help alleviate prejudice against your Bitchy Resting Face.

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  • Single Girl Reveals | Moving In Together

    Single Girl Reveals | Moving In Together

    Jen Smith shares her experience moving in with her boyfriend and what to consider before taking the leap

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    PHOTO: Stephanie Rausser.

    Moving in with my boyfriend was a HUGE decision but one that came surprisingly easy for the two of us. Alex and I have been dating over 7 years, with two small breaks in there. We’ve talked about living together for several years, but it never felt right so we always chose to wait.

    I pride myself on my independence. Since I went through my quarter-life crisis a few years ago, I worked extremely hard to redefine myself by joining several organizations, making quality friends, and starting a new career path. I thought by living together I would lose my individuality, miss out on seeing my friends, and give up what I love doing most. I was surprisingly wrong.

    Alex asked me to “live together” rather than “with him.” Many may not see a difference, but to me, it was an important distinction. To be comfortable moving in together, the act had to be done together and the decision about where to live had to be ours. We worked together to choose which furniture and decorations we were keeping so that our space was a blend of our personalities—for example, he got to keep his sports bobble head collection and me? I got to keep my owl collection.

    I value a well-rounded life, and I was worried that by living with Alex, my life would be too focused on “home”… that I wouldn’t have enough time for friends or activities I love. Instead, we find a balance: on nights he’s out with the boys, I can choose to have a girls’ night, attend my favorite yoga class, or finish reading the latest book on my list.

    Alex and I are big on communication and find that many conflicts can be avoided with a conversation, so we chose to talk about our concerns before living together. Since I’m a list-maker, I pulled together a list of things to discuss before taking the leap that might also be helpful for you to consider when you are ready to take this step in your relationship.

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  • Another Year Single

    Another Year Single

    Catherine shares 5 ways she’s grown in being single

    PHOTO: Tara Freese.
    PHOTO: Tara Freese.

    A year ago, I wrote about the benefits of investing in yourself as a single girl. A year later, I’m still single! We talk about being superbly single, but we’ve stressed the status to include all independent women. Today I want to delve deeper in actually being single, unattached, not in a relationship. As I’ve mentioned before, I have never had a serious boyfriend. So if you’re looking for an expert at being single, I am that.

    When I share my status out loud, or I make a joke like “How is this girl still single?” or “Wouldn’t it be funny if I’m the next cousin to get married?” even if I’m the only cousin who isn’t dating anyone, it may seem like self-deprecation to save face before someone reminds me that I’ll “meet the right person when it’s time”… but truly I’m proud of my eternal singlehood. Of course, like anyone else, I have my moments of freaking out about turning 40 and not being married. But for the most part, I’m happy with the choices I’ve made for myself.

    I’ve reflected on and written about many revelations I encountered the past year in regard to living in the moment and finding the message in every obstacle. Starting The Single Diaries has pushed me to live superbly single, consciously and unconsciously. It’s been a year of growth: I recognized unhappiness in my life and came face to face with it. I spent time trying to remedy discontentment with more side projects, more social outings, more play when what I really needed was complete quiet.

    Among those remedies to try to increase the fun and counter the stress was online dating in the form of fun and easy apps. What I learned from my short stint of serial dating was what we all know but don’t acknowledge: For those of us who desire monogamy and marriage, dating is a way to audition or interview to find the “right” partner. It’s also a way for us to understand what we want and merely who we are as individuals.

    Sure, there are lessons I have yet to learn from being in a committed relationship, but I think there are just as many in learning how to be alone. Here are the ones that have been most important to my personal growth.

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