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Jen A. Miller Consulting

Category: Lessons Learned

  • In It For the Long Haul | A Reflection on a Long-Term Relationship

    In It For the Long Haul | A Reflection on a Long-Term Relationship

    6 lessons in a 6-year long-term relationship from Angelo Ignacio, our first male contributor

    long-term relationship
    PHOTO: Angelo Ignacio.

    This year I celebrate six wonderful years with my girlfriend. Leezel and I are now often the longest running couple among our friends, but we continue to learn new things about each other and what it takes to keep building this love fortress that we have invested in over time.

    In reflecting about our relationship thus far, I immediately thought of sharing some of the past years’ biggest learnings. In the advent of sites like BuzzFeed and Thought Catalog, I read some pretty corny articles that have attempted to portray the beauty of relationships. While some of it is true, I find most of them so one-sided; they never talk about the hardships that are absolutely imminent. If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that love takes work, not dreams. This woman has been worth every bit of it.

    In the spirit of a young love still eager to learn, here are six important truths I’ve discovered about playing for the long run. They are very real to me and may take a second or even third read to wrap your head around. I’ve come to understand that these ideals are what have elevated Zel and me in the game of hearts. I hope you’ll take something from what has taken me 6 years to find and accept. (more…)

  • The Secret to Unlocking Happiness

    The Secret to Unlocking Happiness

    Contributor Rachel Priest Shares her Secret to Finding Happiness

    happiness
    What does it take to unlock happiness? I’m here to teach you what I’ve learned about doing just that. But before we get into all of that let’s get real for a second. Life isn’t always full of happiness. Sometimes life can be really difficult and for no apparent reason. Sometimes it feels like the universe is having a good laugh at our expense. Personally, I can think of  many of these times. Times when I’ve given myself a headache from the severe frown I’ve had stretched across my face. Times when I’ve just wanted to throw in the towel and give up because I’ve felt helpless against the challenges life had thrown my way.

    As with everything in life, there are two sides to this story. On one side is the lesson that we must accept these challenges and the negative feelings that come with them as a part of life. This will never change. But I’m not here to dwell on that side of the story. I’m here to share with you the lessons I’ve learned about the other side–the side of the story that teaches us how to unlock happiness.

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  • Your Single Girl Goals | Summer Edition

    5 Single Girl summer goals to accomplish before the end of the season

    summer goals
    PHOTO: Pinterest.

    Right before the official start of summer, Jen rounded up some of our favorite things of the season—a list of to-do’s and items to make your summer more festive. This year we’ve emphasized the importance of goals, but if you’re like us and your world has recently been turned upside down (hopefully for the better) you may have lost track of what you set out to do in 2014. At the end of January, we took a look at your Single Girl Goals and shared some themes that resonated throughout your boards. We love to celebrate victories big and small (heck, we love to find the celebration in everything!), so I found another great excuse for you. Read on for challenges you can set for yourself this month, inspired by your 2014 goals, before our season of sun is over… then pat yourself on the back for your tiny wins.

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  • 5 Artists to Get Your Dance On at Outside Lands

    Colleen Viana reflects on the culture of music + names 5 Outside Lands acts that are all about the bass

    outside lands
    It’s the beginning of August, we’re nearing the end of summer, and I’m itching to dance.

    Let me preface this with a little story about the time I started tearing up on a treadmill while listening to Tiesto’s “Footprints” mid-run (or I guess “mid-jog,” who am I fooling?), and no, I’m not making this up (trust me, I almost wish I was). It was shortly after he released A Town Called Paradise, and I was fresh off seeing him at Electric Daisy Carnival, New York. While listening to the lyrics, something resonated with me.

     

    “We are the old, and we are the young, a million strangers, we move as one.

    Won’t wait a lifetime, it’s our turn to put our footprints all over the world.”

     

    I heard the song before, but never really listened. Listening to this beautiful bridge, I had a moment of realization: This is the real culture of festivals,joining people from every inch of the world who share the same love for music that you do. It’s an insanely powerful feeling—knowing that in a sea of sweaty, dancing bodies everyone is connected. We’re all listening, we’re all feeling, we’re all experiencing the moment. And each person is crafting it differently for themselves, making each part of the song unique to them.

    For me, it was those lyrics that hit a heartstring, and I lost it. Music is such an incredible force that propels us to move, think, and feel free unlike anything else. It’s always during this time of year that I get extremely excited for music, because Outside Lands is just around the corner. It’s one of the few festivals that doesn’t exist as a “see and be seen” atmosphere, which so many have sadly become.

    After reading Catherine’s post on burning out and her first Coachella experience, I couldn’t help but connect the dots on how music may have played a role in freeing her soul. (It’s not an idea too far-fetched seeing as she is absolutely obsessed with Sara Bareilles.) There’s no question music has the capacity to move us both physically and spiritually, and it happened for me at the same time on the treadmill. Luckily, it was an off-peak hour so no one within my peripheral view saw, but there was a legit tear forming as I listened to “Footprints.” It got me even more excited for us to attend Outside Lands together with our Bay Area family and friends. I couldn’t wait to dance again, not in the desert, but in the forest (which is equally as fun).

    So that said, it’s time to grab your girlfriends and your dancing shoes, then head to these acts for the best tunes to shake your hips to (because twerking in Golden Gate Park is most likely prohibited).
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  • Leaving Home for Home

    Leaving Home for Home

    After 9 years in Los Angeles, Catherine reflects on her decision to move to San Francisco

    los angeles
    PHOTO: Tara Freese.

    I moved to Los Angeles in 2005, fresh out of high school and ready to tackle my first taste of freedom. The rivalry between the Bay and L.A. was palpable among my friends at LMU, and shortly after starting my freshmen year, I was already homesick for San Francisco. Every opportunity I had to fly home for an extended weekend, I took. Then after opening my eyes to the world and studying abroad in Florence, my perspective changed. My senior year I embraced the limited amount of time I had left in college, took an off-campus internship, and really started to explore the city I had lived in for three years beyond the neighborhood around LMU.

    Though I started to find my groove—particularly once I was working full-time at a magazine and working events in glamorous Beverly Hills and exciting West Hollywood—it wasn’t until a couple years after college that I finally admitted to all my Bay Area friends that I loved L.A. I even started to feel a sense of pride in the city (though I will never ever support the Dodgers), especially when people told me how much they hated it.

    Many people decide to start fresh after college by moving to a new city; I was not one of those people, though I did face the obstacle of making new friends after my college friends slowly but surely left the area. The last time I really felt like I started a new chapter in my life was when I originally left home. Serendipitously, while cleaning out my place, I found the video from my cotillion and watched it with my parents. My 18-year-old self gave a speech about leaving for college, moving to L.A., and what I’d learned up to that point in life. It was so fascinating to look back at the girl I was before I started this L.A. adventure… and to feel the difference in what I went through then versus what I’m going through now.

    Back then I had so much direction and focus: I knew my purpose in moving, I knew what I would study in college, I knew what I wanted to do after (though at that point I thought I would be a high school English teacher first). Now I’m leaving L.A. with more life experience and a better sense of who I have become, though what the future holds may still be hazy (or should I say foggy).

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