My bitchy resting face started early—as early as the age of 3. I like to think that it was part of the reason no one liked me in elementary school, that I was merely misunderstood. In truth, I was the girl everyone called “bossy,” so if I’m being honest with myself that likely contributed as well. Another day, another post.
Today I want to to focus solely on the issue of Bitchy Resting Face. It’s real, and I’ve worked most of my life trying to manage public perception of myself because of it. Plus, let’s be real: frowning, however unintentional, causes wrinkles. Here are three techniques I practiced over the last decade that may help alleviate prejudice against your Bitchy Resting Face.
Moving in with my boyfriend was a HUGE decision but one that came surprisingly easy for the two of us. Alex and I have been dating over 7 years, with two small breaks in there. We’ve talked about living together for several years, but it never felt right so we always chose to wait.
I pride myself on my independence. Since I went through my quarter-life crisis a few years ago, I worked extremely hard to redefine myself by joining several organizations, making quality friends, and starting a new career path. I thought by living together I would lose my individuality, miss out on seeing my friends, and give up what I love doing most. I was surprisingly wrong.
Alex asked me to “live together” rather than “with him.” Many may not see a difference, but to me, it was an important distinction. To be comfortable moving in together, the act had to be done together and the decision about where to live had to be ours. We worked together to choose which furniture and decorations we were keeping so that our space was a blend of our personalities—for example, he got to keep his sports bobble head collection and me? I got to keep my owl collection.
I value a well-rounded life, and I was worried that by living with Alex, my life would be too focused on “home”… that I wouldn’t have enough time for friends or activities I love. Instead, we find a balance: on nights he’s out with the boys, I can choose to have a girls’ night, attend my favorite yoga class, or finish reading the latest book on my list.
Alex and I are big on communication and find that many conflicts can be avoided with a conversation, so we chose to talk about our concerns before living together. Since I’m a list-maker, I pulled together a list of things to discuss before taking the leap that might also be helpful for you to consider when you are ready to take this step in your relationship.
I am a night owl. I can stay up later than most people, and my love of sleep means that, historically speaking, me waking up naturally before 11am is unusual. Sleep is important to me, so I’ve always made it a priority; I would categorize that under “good self-care.” Living a freelance life means that I now have the freedom to sleep in a little later when I have to stay up to the wee hours to get work done. In the past few months, however, sleeping in late just ain’t what it used to be (hello, late 20s). Although I’m a creature of habit, part of me does want to become more of a morning person. If you’re like me and need a little boost in the AM, here are 5 rituals you can add to your morning routine that might motivate you to stop hitting the snooze button (or at least cut back to one hit).
Catherine shares 5 ways she’s grown in being single
PHOTO: Tara Freese.
A year ago, I wrote about the benefits of investing in yourself as a single girl. A year later, I’m still single! We talk about being superbly single, but we’ve stressed the status to include all independent women. Today I want to delve deeper in actually being single, unattached, not in a relationship. As I’ve mentioned before, I have never had a serious boyfriend. So if you’re looking for an expert at being single, I am that.
When I share my status out loud, or I make a joke like “How is this girl still single?” or “Wouldn’t it be funny if I’m the next cousin to get married?” even if I’m the only cousin who isn’t dating anyone, it may seem like self-deprecation to save face before someone reminds me that I’ll “meet the right person when it’s time”… but truly I’m proud of my eternal singlehood. Of course, like anyone else, I have my moments of freaking out about turning 40 and not being married. But for the most part, I’m happy with the choices I’ve made for myself.
I’ve reflected on and written about many revelations I encountered the past year in regard to living in the moment and finding the message in every obstacle. Starting The Single Diaries has pushed me to live superbly single, consciously and unconsciously. It’s been a year of growth: I recognized unhappiness in my life and came face to face with it. I spent time trying to remedy discontentment with more side projects, more social outings, more play when what I really needed was complete quiet.
Among those remedies to try to increase the fun and counter the stress was online dating in the form of fun and easy apps. What I learned from my short stint of serial dating was what we all know but don’t acknowledge: For those of us who desire monogamy and marriage, dating is a way to audition or interview to find the “right” partner. It’s also a way for us to understand what we want and merely who we are as individuals.
Sure, there are lessons I have yet to learn from being in a committed relationship, but I think there are just as many in learning how to be alone. Here are the ones that have been most important to my personal growth.
On Beyoncé’s Birthday, 10 lessons from her live performances
PHOTO: Time.com.
Today Beyoncé turns 33. We know from many stars before (i.e. Madonna, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Aniston, Gwen Stefani) that if you work your pound cake hard enough, you’ll only get better with age. A month ago, I attended the On the Run tour when it made its final stop in San Francisco. I made a concerted effort to avoid any spoilers (as if the show was one of my favorite murder mystery shows… i.e. one with a villain named A), but I knew I was in for a treat.
Mr. and Mrs. Carter set up shop at the home of the Giants, AT&T Park. The energy was palpable walking in; we have watched countless Giants games, but no one had attended a concert there before. No one knew what to expect. The crowd was grabbing pre-show beers, scarfing down some kind of sustenance to soak in the alcohol, hurrying to their seats, chatting uncontrollably.
Then the lights dimmed. Everyone stopped talking. Everyone got on their feet. There were maybe two occasions when the crowd sat down, and it definitely wasn’t during “Forever Young” (Justin Timberlake who? Just kidding. I love JT, but Bey brought new swag to the song) when the entire stadium lit up with 50,000 cell phone lights.
Nothing else mattered while we were gathered together for Jay and Bey. Their technically perfect performance left us wanting nothing more than to savor those two and a half hours. We left changed. But what does that mean really? Let me tell you. In honor of the Queen Bey’s birthday, here are 10 lessons I realized from her live performances, both at On The Run and at that insane spectacular at the MTV Video Music Awards.
