Jen A. Miller Consulting

Category: Dates

The 52-Week Challenge: One Reader’s Quest to be Superbly Single

Serial monogamist Kristelle Siarza makes a promise to herself to stay single for one year.

Years ago when I heard Fergie’s “Clumsy,” part of the song caught my attention and made me immediately think of myself:

You know this ain’t the first time this has happened to me
This love sick thing.
I like serious relationships, and uh
A girl like me don’t stay single for long.
‘Cause every time a boyfriend and I break up
My world is crushed and I’m all alone…
The love bug crawls right back up and bites me, and I’m back.

It has been ten years since I was last single: I was a 16-year-old at La Cueva High School, lonely after my move from the Bay Area to New Mexico. After that failed “high school sweetheart” relationship, the others fell in line one after the other with titles out of Carrie Bradshaw’s black book: “baby daddy,” “the Guatemalan,” and most recently, the “40-year-old.” All great relationships, all ending in heartbreak and tears.

(more…)

December 18, 2013
Single Girl Reads | The Rules

“No one seems to remember exactly how The Rules got started, but we think they began circa 1917 with Melanie’s grandmother, who made men wait nervously in her parents’ parlor in a small suburb of Michigan. Back then, they called it ‘playing hard to get.’ Whatever you call it, she had more marriage proposals than shoes. When Melanie got married in 1981, she freely offered this old-fashioned advice to her single college friends and coworkers like us. When you follow The Rules you learn how to be a ‘creature unlike any other’—confident, radiant, happy.”

In The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right, Ellen Fein and Sherries Schneider break down their dating philosophies on how any woman can capture the heart of the man she desires. The Rules, while not new, have survived and been passed down for several decades from one generation to the next through grandmothers, mothers, and trusted friends. The Rules may make you uncomfortable or seem old-fashioned seemingly defying everything we stand for as modern women. But the real question is do they work? As crazy as the advice may seem, is it worth taking?

Join The Single Diaries’ second book conversation as we discuss The Rules and how today’s Single Girls can apply or defy them. Pick up a copy and read by December 10th to send in questions: in the comments section of this post, via Twitter tagging @SingleDiariesXO and #SingleGirlTheRules, or via email leadingladies@toastmeetsjam.com.

We will post our discussion on December 20th, so don’t forget to come back to continue the conversation. We can’t wait to hear what you think!

November 27, 2013
Lessons in Breaking Up

Zoe Crook of The Uncuffed shares her lessons on ending relationships and why a break up can actually be a good thing.

“The only thing you need to focus on is yourself, and I promise everything will fall into place.”

Breaking up is like skydiving. Leading up to the jump you feel anxiety, uncertainty and fear. The moment the door opens you ask yourself, “What the fuck am I doing jumping out of a perfectly safe plane?!” Suddenly you want to take off your parachute, climb back in, and chomp on some complimentary nuts.

But you don’t. Instead, you jump. Suddenly you’re free and it’s exhilarating. And look at that, you landed safely with both feet on the ground in a completely different place than where you started. Sure, you may have a scrape or two and your head might be spinning but those things heal, just like a broken heart.

Whether you’re doing the breaking or you’re being broken, neither role is easy, and both people generally known deep down when the relationship has ended. What’s scary about a relationship ending is the unknown but even scarier is knowing that if you don’t jump you’re going to miss out on new experiences that are critical to your personal growth.

I’ve just gone through a breakup of my own and come out on the other side better for it. Though it has been an emotional roller coaster, I’ve figured out how to ride it out and want to share the lessons I’ve learned about moving on.

(more…)

November 25, 2013
Flirting in the Freezer Aisle

One Guy Lets TSD in on His Secret Strategy for Picking Up Dates

Every now and then I think it’s a good idea to get a guy’s perspective on dating. We know they may be crazy but the more we learn about them the better chance we have of understanding why they do the things they do.

I reached out to a male friend of mind and posed the question, “Where do you usually pick up girls?” I have to admit, his response surprised me.

Photo Courtesy of Glamour

(more…)

October 24, 2013
10 Effortless Ways to Meet Mr. Right

Ten places to find a date without adding another to-do to that busy schedule of yours

As summer comes to a close, chances are any summer sparks you’ve ignited are about to reach the end of the wick. We at TSD say it’s time to let the summer flame burn out and set your sights on a fresh start.

We all know that fall can be hectic and that none of us really has the time to go on the hunt for a good man. One option to solve that? Stay superbly single! Treat yourself to extra attention, set new goals, and focus on accomplishing them over the next quarter. We love that!

For the rest of you, however, we know that the boy crazy-ness doesn’t disappear that easily. For you single girls, we started to think, how can we set ourselves up for potential matchmaking success without having to make time for it in our overloaded schedules? Are there situations right under our noses that we’ve been overlooking? Let’s rule out the places we intentionally go looking to pick up boys (the bar), and the places that we’d go only because we know they are laden with men (Home Depot, anyone?) and only consider the places we go in and out of in our daily routine. What are we doing day in and day out that we’ve never given thought to as potential situations for us to meet Mr. Right?

(more…)

September 18, 2013