“It’s human nature to protect our minds and spirits by fleeing behind the cover of ‘out of sight, out of mind.’ But if you’re reading this and feel your heart reaching out to the people affected by Haiyan/Yolanda, take another couple of minutes to find out if you can help more. It doesn’t take much.”
Last weekend, one of the worst storms ever devastated the Philippines—the home country of my parents, grandparents, ancestors. We were fortunate that none of our relatives were directly affected, but the Filipino community is small and tight-knit so I know loved ones of friends were affected. Lara Torii shares her experience about the storm passing while she was visiting her family in Manila. Abba Chan talks about Tacloban (her birthplace and the town hardest hit by the super typhoon) and the efforts that her family is making in the wake of the devastation. Read on for their stories and to learn about opportunities to help directly. (more…)
Last month my friend and I saw Sara Bareilles at the Greek. I have been a huge fan since I saw Sara play at a college music festival in 2009. We all know her #1 hit “Love Song,” but this woman is so much more than that catchy albeit empowering pop song. She is at home on stage in more ways than one. Firstly, her voice is completely powerful, and live it’s a religious experience… until she drops her first F-bomb then a dozen subsequent ones. That leads me to my second point: she connects to her audience. Someone yells out “I love you, Sara,” and she’ll call it out right back. The stage is her couch, and the venue is her living room; everyone feels at home as she tells you about the experiences that informed the song she is about to play.
Before she played “Manhattan” on that September night, she discussed her decision to leave Los Angeles—her home of fourteen years—to make the cross-country move to New York City: a need for change, a bittersweet good-bye, and the knowledge that this chapter of her life was coming to an end. She hints at a break-up, perhaps because she was back at the scene of the crime. The lyrics were chillingly beautiful. Written from the perspective of her ex, the one who’s left behind, you get a sense of the pain felt from both parties.
At the show at the Greek, she dropped the veil of detachment that she sometimes puts up while discussing her journey in making the new album. Perhaps it had to do with coming back to L.A. after moving. Perhaps it had to do with playing the iconic stage. Regardless, she showed raw emotion that struck a chord with me.
It was during this song that my eyes started to well up with tears. It was during this song when I had a moment of clarity accepting that all the tension I had felt in the months prior was for naught. After a stressful day, I’ll drive home from work to my quiet apartment trying to breathe deeply and think about anything else. It finally occurred to me that what was missing from my day was the ease of surrounding family and a feeling of home. (more…)
At this time last year I was counting down the days until I packed my bags and headed to Thailand. I booked an 11-day excursion abroad and decided to do it on my own. My trip would take me first to Bangkok, then around the western coast of Thailand, and make a final stop in Tokyo. I was excited and terrified to go.
Traveling to Thailand had been on my mind for a few years. I wanted to touch every continent (Antarctica excluded) before I was 25, and Asia was the only one missing from my list. Several friends in college had gone as part of study abroad. They raved about its beautiful beaches, cheap massages, and amazing street food. Their reviews convinced me that I needed to experience this land for myself.
I shared the idea with an equally adventurous best friend of mine; she was immediately hooked. We both had jobs lined up on the west coast and decided Thailand was the post-graduation adventure we needed before we both started our new corporate jobs. That was November 2010.
Over the next few months as we started planning our trip, life got in the way. The pressures of graduation, the looming cost of moving across the country, and family priorities all took precedence over the grand trip we had imagined. I was disappointed but decided to put Thailand on the back burner for another time.
Throughout the following year I brought the idea up to different friends trying to find a travel partner to make the trip with me. Most would express interest but ultimately the complexity and cost of the trip would deter them from commitment. I soon began to realize that if I really wanted to go, I would need to find the courage to do it alone.
I had traveled a lot growing up and through college with family, study abroad, service trips, and an internship with Delta Airlines. Never though had I traveled by myself and certainly not to somewhere as far away as Thailand. The idea was intriguing particularly at that point in my life. It was my first year living away from home, my family, and my college girlfriends. I was newly independent, learning to take on new responsibilities, and growing comfortable being out of my comfort zone. Taking this trip alone seemed like the perfect test to see just how far I could push myself.
There were a couple options to consider. One was the obvious—buy a flight, pack a bag, and go it totally alone. That seemed like a bigger push than I was ready for. The alternate option was to find a tour group I could hitch onto. It wouldn’t be traveling with my best friends but it would be traveling with new ones; that felt like a good compromise.
After some research, I decided on a Thailand tour with Contiki, a travel tour group for 18- to 35-year-olds. For a fixed price Contiki took care of all of the accommodations, local transportation, and excursions. The only thing I had to worry about was my booking my round trip ticket there.
Needless to say, that trip to Thailand was one I will never forget. The tour turned out to be a great option because it brought together similarly aged travelers from around the world, many traveling alone, to share the adventure together. While I did have to navigate the journey to and from Thailand on my own, for the bulk of my trip I had new friends with whom to share the experience.
I know it can be scary to think about taking a big trip like that on your own but I would encourage every Single Girl to give it a shot. You learn that you can be independent, that being alone sometimes is actually nice, and that new friends can be made anywhere. If you are considering a solo trip, read on for a few lessons I learned that you might find helpful.
Catherine uses classic FRIENDS moments to help you find your mojo.
Even the superbly single girl may need a little extra encouragement from time to time… after a fight with a friend, after a tough day at work, on a quiet Tuesday night, or when your love life’s D.O.A. Ritual is a way for us to feel control over some small part of the universe’s ways. We use it to celebrate tradition, but we also use it in our daily lives when we get ready for work or wind down for bed. I’ve found small things I can do with purpose that have the same effect of calm and contentment that longer rituals can have. Take it from our favorite friends; you can do any one of these acts or a combination to quickly feel superbly sexy again.
Budgeting: we all know it’s important but most of us dread having to do it. Let’s face it, spending money is much easier without having to think about where it’s going or having to acknowledge that we spend that much on happy hours with the girls.
At the same time, spending money without direction can leave us feeling a bit anxious. Have you ever found yourself wondering if you’ll be able to pay the next credit card bill or nervous that the last check you wrote is going to bounce?
Not knowing where out money is going can leave us feeling out of control. When approached with the right attitude, keeping track of your budget can actually be a liberating exercise. When you know you’ve got your expenses covered and have dedicated specific amounts of money to clothes, dinners out, etc., you lose the guilt of spending the money. You’ll even find that your money starts to stretch further because you’re in control of where it’s going.
When I graduated from college my parents gifted me with a financial planning course—a set of books on tape and a workbook to teach me how to spend my new paycheck wisely. Though not as glamorous as a new car or exotic trip, it was one of the best gifts I received. Taking the self-guided course taught me the fundamentals of creating and tracking a budget. Using the basic principles the course taught, I established a system that worked best for me.
Being able to manage your personal budget is a skill I strongly believe every Single Girl should be equipped with. For that reason, I’m sharing with you my personal budgeting process and budgeting template. If you haven’t already found a system that works for you, give this a try!
